He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
