There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
