sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
