Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Less talking, more tequila
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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