it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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