I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
