do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
