It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
