apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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