i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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