even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
