i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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