don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
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The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
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My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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