I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
