eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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