PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
As shirtless as possible
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
