So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
