i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
