this just has baby written all over it
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
