he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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