youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
