Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
