This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
