Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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