my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
