Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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