Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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