glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize