so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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