I'm laying in your front yard are you home
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
