She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
