what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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