You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
