I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
