So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
