this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
