You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
