she told me i tasted like america
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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