I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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