pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i now understand why vodka
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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