their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
