Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
