Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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