Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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