I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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