After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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