She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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