Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Ketchup is God's man juice
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
