Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
