How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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