so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
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So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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