at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize