But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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