who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
