I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far