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• (847): View more from Illinois

  i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago

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• (214): View more from Texas

  yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (760): View more from California

  It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.

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• (863): View more from Florida

  Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light

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• (455): View more from

  As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee

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• (904): View more from Florida

  But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?

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• (831): View more from California

  Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.

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• (347): View more from New York

  And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table

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