to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
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Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
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Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...