so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
