why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
