Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize