Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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