BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize