So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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