have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
