I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize